Some of My favorite Sayings/Arguments

Gays Want Special Rights

“Gays have all the rights straights do; they just have to play by the rules.” They want special rights to marry someone of the same sex.”  I really love this argument/logic that is thrown around in debates nowadays.   First and foremost all gay and lesbians want is the very thing all humans want; to fall in love and have their marriage protected by the law and share in the very benefits the neighbors to their left and right do, nothing more nothing less.  Cynthia Nixon put it best when she said, “”When women got the vote, they did not redefine voting, when African-Americans got the right to sit at a lunch counter alongside white people, they did not redefine eating out. They were simply invited to the table. That is all we want to do; we have no desire to change marriage. We want to be entitled to not only the same privileges but the same responsibilities as straight people.” It would be utterly ludicrous to expect a gay person to fall in love with a member of the opposite sex just as you would not expect a straight person to fall in love with a member of the same (however if they did, I wouldn’t judge).  No, I apologize; I am not a big believer in the ex-gay theory.  There is a huge difference between behavior and orientation.  One can authentically be changed/modified, the other cannot. Ones orientation is simply who they are attracted to, not who they are intimate with. I myself was born left-handed (and side note just like my orientation, we are still unclear on the biological/genetic contributions to handedness.)  With proper time, practice and energy I can change my behavior and learn to write with my right hand.  Does this mean I am now fundamentally “right-handed?” No, it just means I changed my behavior, I am still (and was born) left-handed.  That being said, have there been people that have “changed?” Possibly but sexuality is quite multi-layered and complex.  The first question I would ask is; “where they in fact innately/inborn, genetically predispositioned to the homosexual orientation” to begin with? (keeping in mind if you do subscribe to this theory, there are far more ex-straights than ex-gays!) Other than that, I cannot for the life of me see where it is a choice.  (Side note; if someone is bisexual, they can choose to be in a same or opposite gender relationship but the relationship is the choice, not the orientation).  My brother is straight and under no circumstances can I see him flipping a coin one day and saying, “hmm, I think I’ll choose a rugged, masculine, chiseled and hairy dude today!”

Black is not the new Gay

“Stop comparing black rights to gay rights.  You cannot change your color but you can change your behavior.”  Well as I have already stated being gay is not a behavior, it is an innate orientation and in simple terms means who one is attracted to.  A straight person is not a behavior, being straight just means the attraction is geared toward members of the opposite sex.  When it comes to race and orientation there are differences of course, and I do not think any cultures fight for civil equality should be completely blended.  However, when it comes down to it, aren’t we fighting a similar battle ?  When we bottom-line the murder of Emmett Till and Matthew Shepard (young men brutally and maliciously beaten, mocked, tortured and killed), the common denominator was that of ignorance, fear and discrimination.  Although I do not necessarily believe that black is the new gay, they indeed have interwoven infrastructure and therefore the “fighting” terms may at times overlap. I also cringe while hearing this statement as it is often followed by, “I have heard of ex-gays but never ex-blacks.”  Well, are you positive?  I am sure many would argue Sammy Sosa and Michael Jackson were ex-black (and unlike orientation, those were choices).  Throughout history gay and lesbians were threatened with eternal damnation, societal ostracism and countless other fear tactics to “change” and the result was an increase in anti-depressants, an increase in suicides, an increase in divorces from those thinking marrying the opposite gender would “cure” them and a whole slew of damage to self and others.   Regardless, I think the “change is possible” argument is a moot point. Far too many “ex-gays” have recanted their stories of change after electro shock therapy and other horror stories <—  One of many resources dealing with the ex-gay myth.

Why do gays have to flaunt their lifestyle? 

The term “lifestyle” is like nails on a chalkboard to me.  However, forget me; let us (once again) go to the dictionary.  Lifestyle, (noun) the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitutes the mode of living of an individual or group.”  When people (gay and straight) wake up in the morning, take a shower, grab a cup of coffee, drop their children off at school, volunteer in their community and attend church on Sundays, that is their lifestyle.   Whom one is attracted to is NOT a lifestyle.  “Life” is the optimal word we are going for here!  Okay, moving on.  Why is it that when we see a straight couple eating one another’s face on public transportation or virtually conceiving in corners of our shopping malls, we walk by thinking little?  However, when we see gay couples hold hands, hug or kiss they are, “flaunting their lifestyle?”  Can we all together say Double Standard? Come on, I know you can do it. Usually this statement accompanies, “Why do gays have to flaunt their behavior during pride parade, we don’t have a straight parade” Well I’ll make a deal with you, I will overlook the obscene behavior that straights display during their annual Mardi Gras if you will overlook the obscene behavior that gays display during our annual pride parade.  We also have to understand (on both/all sides) that there are extremists in every culture/group.  We cannot (or at least should not) judge an entire culture/group on the behavior of an excited (and eccentric) few.

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Filed under Civil Rights, Discrimination, Equality, Gay

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