No Substitute For Experience

There is one candidate that deeply concerns me; Marco Rubio. His extreme hostility toward gay Americans saddens me. Not only does he want our community to continually be treated like second-class citizens but if he had it his way he would do whatever it took to eradicate us completely.

He has vowed to use tax-payers money (and his precious time as President) to overturn any law(s) that treat us equally. I find it terribly upsetting that he vowed to work hard overturning DADT. Thousands of gay Americans fight for his rights and freedom every day and he wants to strip those soldiers from their careers – how despicable.

He strongly opposes loving same-gender families from adopting and even helped raise money for conversion therapy. Believing that being gay is a choice clearly shows his lack of understanding/education on who we are, and our community.

I’ll end here for now but how hypocritical must one be to enjoy all the freedoms and equal treatment that his parents came to America searching for to gain citizenship and then turn around and use our system to take away freedoms and equal treatment from other Americans!?!

Because there is no substitute for experience I  wonder his reaction if he were the one in this video clip?

 

I Am Loved Right Where I Am

Amazon http://tinyurl.com/oyjmzxu

Barnes & Noble http://tinyurl.com/p822wrz

Signed Copy http://jasonj.biz/author.php

Youtube Video http://tinyurl.com/ocupldl

I recall my first grade teacher (Ms. Martin) talking about a fun craft project which included the use of scissors.  I was beyond excited and could not wait to begin.  Ms. Martin placed the scissor rack in the center table and off we all dashed with anticipation. To my disappointment however the only options were right-handed scissors.  Being left-handed I did not know how to cut with right-handed scissors but seeing all my classmates I desperately tried.  Try as I may my cut-outs were looking nothing like those of my classmates.  Frustrated I secretly asked myself why I was different.  Ensuring the rack included a pair of left-handed scissors would have prevented the feeling of isolation I experienced.  It was there in elementary school I first experienced the feeling of being dissimilar and not belonging.

Fast forward twenty five years I became a teacher myself (obtained my Masters in Arts and Teaching at Trinity University in Washington, D.C.).  I taught various grades and subjects in Syracuse, N.Y., Brooklyn, N.Y., Atlanta, GA and Washington, DC.  Prior to teaching I was a youth counselor for many years – working with youth diagnosed from moderate to severe intellectual disabilities, behavioral and emotional challenges, those diagnosed with autism/Asperger’s syndrome and even including eating disorders.  While working with children I have noticed a disheartening truth over the years.  Regardless of the therapeutic setting, classroom or child population, one thing that became abundantly clear to me is that children who do not fit the “traditional family” mold at times face a tremendous sense of feeling alone and uncomfortable – especially because every book in their homes, schools and libraries mention a mom and dad. It is certainly no fault of the families involved but more so the fact that, as a whole, society caters to the commonly advertised mom and dad family.

According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs the feeling of belonging is one of our basic needs, and one in which many successes are based on.  Students, who do not feel belonged, long for understanding, yearn for relatability and, at times, struggle with isolation.  We live in a society where our books, music, conversations, holidays etc. are geared exclusively to families made up of a mom and dad.  While I think that we need to embrace and celebrate the mom and dad family dynamic, we also need to embrace and celebrate ALL family dynamics just the same.

When I worked with elementary students I was always careful with my pronouns during story time.  I would try and use “parents” or “family” instead of the usual “Mom and Dad.”  The reality is that there are many different family dynamics.  Children often come from a home with a step-parent, foster-parent, same-gender parents, single parent, grandparents etc., and sadly our books and language often (yet unintentionally) overlook this rapidly growing reality.  In order to thrive and succeed children need to feel affirmed and belonged regardless of where they come from, and with whom they happen to live.

Frustrated over the constant lack of children’s books on family diversity that spoke directly to a child’s self-esteem I decided to do something about it so I wrote and illustrated my own easy to read children’s book, “I Am Loved Right Where I Am” http://tinyurl.com/oyjmzxu

This book is a phenomenal educational tool for every child, and every home in America.  If the child reading I Am Loved Right Where I Am comes from a home with a Mom and Dad than they will not only relate to one of the characters in my book, but also learn that many of their friends and classmates may come from different family dynamics.  Children that come from other family dynamics (foster, step-parent, same-gender parents, single parent etc.) will also relate to some of the characters in my book and have a sense of family equality.  The goal of my book is quite simple; after browsing this easy to read children’s book the reader will walk away feeling belonged, loved, as well as, have a stronger sense of universal connection.

If we want our children to succeed in life it starts early, and especially in school where pressures of all types are constantly bombarding our children from every direction.  At the same token my book is just as educational for those that are home-schooled or children out of school.  Even such children are not safeguarded from the media, their (good-intentioned) friends and society.  We must ensure our youth feel safe, comfortable and belonged.  If a child is constantly on mental guard from friends, extended family members, society, the media etc., he or she cannot be fully focused on learning, or be able to reach self-actualization in life.

Please take a look at the wonderful reviews from those that have read my book http://tinyurl.com/oyjmzxu and treat that special or someone to a copy.  You have the option of ordering from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and even a signed copy via paypal.  This book is a great addition to your personal book collection, home library and most certainly gift to that special child or family.  Happy reading

 Amazon http://tinyurl.com/oyjmzxu

Barnes & Noble http://tinyurl.com/p822wrz

Signed Copy http://jasonj.biz/author.php

Youtube Video http://tinyurl.com/ocupldl

* Please share (links above) as proceeds of my book go directly to charities *

Hope Will Never Be Silent

This month, the USPS will start offering Harvey Milk postage stamps. Harvey Milk became a national gay rights hero in 1977 when he was elected to a seat on the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. Milk’s belief that the U.S. Government should represent all areas of American society encouraged and inspired the gay community at a time when discrimination and gaycist mindsets were rife. Milk was instrumental in educating the public on the dangers and absurdity of Proposition 6, (the modern-day witch-hunt) which would have made firing teachers – who happen to be gay – mandatory in the state of California.

Milk was a highly respected civil rights advocate and loved human being. Sadly, however, just eleven short months after serving the people of his district, Harvey was murdered (shot point blank in the head) by Dan White – an anti-gay colleague. Mr. White was eventually convicted of voluntary manslaughter; it was an appalling legal injustice.

What I find ironic is that although some deem our lives worthless, history has shown that we are some of the strongest, most resilient, and courageous people. For centuries we have been imprisoned, beaten, bullied, mocked and murdered. Gay people have been used as science experiments and regularly regarded as less than human. According to FBI statistics, every four minutes in our nation a crime is reported from a gay person being harassed, bashed, bullied, etc. These reports often include death threats – and these are just the reports on record. Incalculable acts of gay bashing are never reported due to shame, humiliation, embarrassment, and threats if they are reported. Gay people cannot, to this day, freely walk in their pride parades or get married without hearing insults, slander, and verbal attacks from scores of deluded people with bullhorns.

Every day across the U.S., gay couples and their homes are robbed, egged, vandalized, and burned by hate-motivated arsonists. If you open a newspaper or do a quick online search, you will find gays are daily brutally beaten, burned, mobbed, assaulted, bashed, intimidated, even killed as acceptable “punishment” simply for the way they are born. Not too long ago, we suffered excessive and demeaning bar raids, including completely unnecessary and extreme brutality from police officers. We agonized silently, having no legal recourse or protection. As an invisible minority, we had no voice and scarce allies.

Our community encounters countless double standards. I see many young straight couples passionately making-out in shopping malls but if a gay couple holds hands they’re “flaunting their lifestyle.” When anti-gay groups call for nationwide boycotts, it is deemed a righteous use of the free market in order to preserve morality, marriage, family, and the American way. But when the gay community exercises their right to boycott, it is then homofascist intimidation, intolerance, bullying, a stifling of religious liberty, and an attempt to deny others the freedom of speech. Sadly, the examples are countless.

Despite these constant travesties and setbacks to our community, we continue to boldly live in love, forgiveness, prayer, and hope. We are a community often fired from our jobs for who we are, yet the first ones to lend an ear to others in need. We are a community disowned by our families, yet first to give a helping hand to others lost. We are a people continually knocked down physically, spiritually, and mentally, but stand tall and proud while dusting ourselves off. Yes, we are that community. You can throw us to the wolves but rest assured we’ll return leading the pack.

I will share my personal story at another time but in short, I lived on my own at the young age of fourteen, forcing me to leave school and work three low-paying dead-end jobs to survive rent and bills. My future was looking miserable at best. I was too young to drive and too poor for public transportation. My seven day work weeks were long and grueling. Life was not easy and I never knew what was in store for me from day to day or if my tired legs could endure another day. I guess you never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option!

In time I realized that although I had little say about my start, I had all the say about my finish. I went on to serve eight honorable years in the United States Military (four years in the Army and another four in the Airforce). I returned to school, eventually graduating with a master’s degree in education (high honors). I moved to NYC and worked on various television and movie sets. I wrote and recorded a CD and performed throughout the nation.  After teaching for many years I wrote and illustrated a now published children’s book “I Am Loved Right Where I Am” http://www.jasonj.biz/author.php  I joined a pop group and toured all over – one such performance was for the wedding of Shania Twain’s manager. Pictures of the wedding and our group were featured in a nation-wide publication. I am happily married for almost sixteen years and together we adopted two amazing children (from birth).  Most significantly, I remain steadfast in my relationship with my heavenly Father, and my daily renewal to follow His examples. Click Here For A Quick Life Clip

I share some of my accomplishments not in any way to boast, or for a pat on the back. I share them simply as an example of how our community repeatedly turns our tests into testaments and our messes into messages. Despite endeavors and accomplishments, I am habitually surrounded by naysayers. Our community and all our successes are persistently dismissed, debased, and disregarded. How cruel and unfair when others throw you out in the cold and then get upset when you learn how to get warm on your own.

If you are gay, or an ally, know that you are a part of a magnificent and exceptional community. I always say gay people are like winning the lottery; one never knows when a winning ticket will emerge from the family. I hope your next post office trip includes a Harvey Milk stamp or two as your support speaks volumes and helps contribute to a better, more equal tomorrow. When the gay community is strengthened, every community is strengthened simply because we are in every community!

The great Harvey Milk is unfortunately gone, yet his heroism, fearlessness, and fortitude live on. Decades after his death Milk is still opening hearts and minds and encouraging all to live authentically. Harvey Milk’s passion for equal rights put his own life in danger, and he knew it. While writing this post, John 15:13 comes to mind, “No one has greater love than this, that one should lay down his life for his friends.” There are many scholarly interpretations of this superb verse; however, my favorite is from Harvey Milk himself, “If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet shatter every closet door!”

“Married” is universally understood

Twelve years ago, on our first date, Eric and I spoke in length about the importance of our individual spiritual walk, and our wish to eventually have children. Four years later, while in Venice Italy walking side by side underneath an umbrella, Eric stopped to kneel and propose. Three years later (seven years to the day we met) we officially tied the knot in my hometown of Syracuse N.Y. in front of hundreds of cheering friends and family members.

One day while making lunch I felt a small pain in my lower back. Assuming it twisted the wrong way I ignored it. However the pain became increasingly unbearable. I called Eric (who immediately left a meeting) and came home. When Eric walked in and found me pale-white and on the verge of tears he swiftly assisted me to the car and rushed to the nearest emergency room. When we arrived at the hospital I was in the most indescribable pain, and in tears. I could not talk, walk or think. The medical personnel had many questions and asked Eric his relation to me. “My spouse” he uttered as they rushed me into a room and quickly attached an I.V. Although I have a pretty high threshold for pain, it was so intolerable all I could do was scream. All the while Eric stood at my bedside calmly speaking and responding to questions from nurses, doctors and billers.

Countless hours, and many tests later, I was discharged home with powerful pain medication where I would eventually pass my kidney stone. Though my physical pain eventually decreased my emotional pain for the gay community increased. While in the hospital Eric didn’t have to explain that he was my civil-unioned domestic partner lover (or any other grossly misunderstood and watered down term and the countless confusing state laws that vary with them). He simply said, “We are married.” The word “married” is universally understood. I am grateful to live in a state where all citizens are treated equally. My heart bleeds for the many across the U.S. that are not.

When I reflect back on our first date I am almost amazed at what has come to fruition. Here we are with one child and one on the way, happily married and living a very Christ-centered life in a state that respects everyone equally. While enjoying the blessed life that I live I vow to never stop fighting for all of my brother’s and sister’s rights to marry the love of their lives, regardless of where they happen to live.

Sports; No woman, no blacks and now no Gays

I was about to post my thoughts regarding Michael Sam when a blog-follower sent me this video. I was touched by his eloquence and progressive understanding of humans (especially from a generation where gay discrimination was completely acceptable) that I decided posting it would fare far better. Enjoy and God bless.

Did A&E cave to money or truly want to educate?

A&E decided to reinstate Phil Robertson. I get it! We live in a money over morals world and Duck Dynasty brings the network money.  I am however grateful to hear A&E is going to work with Phil and the family to educate them on inclusion and the gay community.  I pray that Phil continues to spiritually grow and we see a more Christ-like love-motivated Christian and less of a judgmental (comparing gay people to everything horrible in the world) Christian.  In the meantime I encourage Phil to be more observant of his literalist interpretation of the Word.  He too can be on the other end of biblical cherry-picking, finger-pointing and condemnation; “Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him.” 1 Corinthians 11:14

Duck Dynasty

I fought fervently to stay out of this nonsensical debacle however after a whirlwind of input requests decided to oblige my devotees – half joke, of course.

All jokes aside; you cannot bash and trash a minority group and then hide behind the cover of religion (done so many times in the past) and expect to keep a public position. Have we learned nothing from Paula Deen!?!  Phil Robertson was rightfully fired from A&E. And last I knew Phil Robertson is still a free man so those throwing the first amendment phrase around like a volley-ball need to take pause.

Phil Robertson did not kindly state his personal biblical interpretation of gay people and opposition of gay marriage and simply get fired (as we often hear on Fox ruse). Like all extremists his vile attacks and lies were offensive and damaging “Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.” I would be deeply saddened to have my son read or hear these statements made about his dads.

I do believe in the first amendment and freedom of speech. I do not however believe freedom of speech equates to freedom from consequence. I am a public educator and can pretty much say anything I want to my students without getting arrested. That does not mean, however, that I will not get fired for doing so.

3 MUST SEE Videos

Out of the 16 Zillion videos out there, I narrowed them down to three that are very much worth your time.  If, after viewing, you do not feel as if you have been completely enlightened I will fully refund your money.  Just kidding.  In all seriousness, these videos are, at the very least, beyond thought-provoking.  God bless you

1) Mathew Vines is a young gay christian from middle america who God is using to shed light on this often dark and immoral world.  He brilliantly breaks down the 6 (often used) clobber passages in a very eloquent, detail-oriented, easy to understand and spiritually lead power-point conversation.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezQjNJUSraY  

2)   I could not recommend this next video more.  Dan Savage (syndicated columnist) and Brian Brown (president of National Organization for Marriage) very respectfully, intelligently and intellectually exchange their views regarding the freedom to marry.  This debate takes you on an eye-opening historical, spiritual, biblical and personal journey.   This is an absolute must watch for every American.  After watching, please share it with friends and family.  God bless you   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG804t0WG-c

3) Gay Christian Mathew Vines impeccably and concisely breaks down the 6/7 debatable clobber passages https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmp6lLct-fQ&feature=em-uploademail

How Dare the NAACP take a stand for equal rights!

Alveda King (niece to MLK) is enraged that the NAACP has broadened its mission statement to support the freedom to marry for all.  Alveda stated, “To equate homosexuality with race is to give a death sentence to civil rights, no one is making them sit in the back of the bus.” With all due respect, Ms. King, for the record, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) did not equate anything to “them!”  You are the one grabbing the race card, inserting that mistruth, and attempting to stir-up division!  Second Ms. King, please allow me a moment to school you a tad on our “bus.”

Hitler had special concentration camps and protocol for gays where he and his followers ordered and assigned them to the most difficult of all jobs. Twenty-four seven gays were taunted, tortured, prodded, poisoned, stripped, whipped, beaten, used as horrific disfiguring medical experiments, their fingernails pulled, they were starved, went days without water, and had thick splint-filled wooden sticks shoved into their anus and penis until the majority bled to death.

Unfortunately, not much has changed since.  All throughout history (including today) gays are taunted, teased, humiliated, tortured, mocked, ridiculed and murdered.  A recent article stated that in Iraq gay men’s anuses are super-glued while forced to drink diarrhea inducing liquid resulting in a very slow and painful death.  In Jamaica, there is government sanctioned brutal rape to “cure” lesbians.  In over 75 countries, gays are imprisoned should they simply live honestly.  Many that have (and continue to) assault and murder our gay brothers and sisters are repeatedly given an insignificant penalty or found “not guilty” and still today, we hear pastors, politicians, teachers and preachers condoning hatred and violence toward gays and lesbians with little to no concern, consideration or care.

Sadly, however, we do not need to look outside of our own back yard to see this type of repulsive abuse.  Every day across the U.S. gay couples and their houses are robbed, egged, vandalized, and burned by hate-motivated arsonists.  Every day gays are brutally beaten, sodomized, burned, mobbed, assaulted, bashed, intimidated and killed as acceptable “punishment” simply for the way they were born.  It was not that long ago here in the U.S. that gays were imprisoned, and while there, used as medical experiments.  Gays endured endless months of water torture and gruesome shock therapy to “cure” them.  Today every minute in our nation a crime is reported from a gay person being harassed, bashed, bullied, and often including death threats – and these are just the ones on record.  Incalculable acts of gay bashing are never reported due to shame, humiliation, and embarrassment, threats if they do, and the list goes on. Gay people cannot, to this day, peacefully walk in their (long awaited and much deserved) pride parades or get married without hearing insults, slander and verbal attacks from scores of deluded people with bullhorns. Trust me Ms. King, if we had a choice, we would happily sit in the back of the air-conditioned bus!

Lastly, Alveda, though your uncle may not have officially went on record supporting equal rights for his gay brothers and sisters, his wife (your aunt) Coretta has made it abundantly clear numerous times that they both believed in, and supported equal marriage for all!  Alveda I have a proposal.  How about instead of using your time, energy and money preventing loving, monogamous, faithful and devoted gay couples their civil right to legally marry, you put all of your time, money and energy into making your fourth one a success – deal?

Jesus Against Brownies – Mathew 19:4

As the marriage debate heats up we have been hearing many use Mathew 19:4 as a talking point to speak on Jesus’ behalf promoting discrimination and lies.  This verse is a perfect example of how we neither should cherry pick bible verses nor take them out of context.   “⁴ And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, ⁵ And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? ⁶ Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Mathew 19″

Finally, here is proof, Jesus stating that marriage is to be exclusively between a man and woman right?  Not at all.  You see to fully understand this verse in context we must read the one before it.   “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? Mathew 19:3.”  Jesus was simply responding to a specific question asked by the Pharisees.  The Pharisees asked a question that involves a marriage between a man and a woman and Jesus responded to the question at hand.

In no way shape or form was Jesus even remotely asked about His views on same-gender love/marriage (and while we are on the subject there were MANY examples of such couples around in His day and never once did He himself condemn them).  This would be like me calling my mother at work and asking if I can make brownies and she replying (and it were recorded) “Have I not told you that no brownies are to be made…..”  If this were the case, we would see many today holding signs, “Jesus Against Brownies” and others demanding “Brownie Equality!”