No Substitute For Experience

There is one candidate that deeply concerns me; Marco Rubio. His extreme hostility toward gay Americans saddens me. Not only does he want our community to continually be treated like second-class citizens but if he had it his way he would do whatever it took to eradicate us completely.

He has vowed to use tax-payers money (and his precious time as President) to overturn any law(s) that treat us equally. I find it terribly upsetting that he vowed to work hard overturning DADT. Thousands of gay Americans fight for his rights and freedom every day and he wants to strip those soldiers from their careers – how despicable.

He strongly opposes loving same-gender families from adopting and even helped raise money for conversion therapy. Believing that being gay is a choice clearly shows his lack of understanding/education on who we are, and our community.

I’ll end here for now but how hypocritical must one be to enjoy all the freedoms and equal treatment that his parents came to America searching for to gain citizenship and then turn around and use our system to take away freedoms and equal treatment from other Americans!?!

Because there is no substitute for experience I  wonder his reaction if he were the one in this video clip?

 

Sports; No woman, no blacks and now no Gays

I was about to post my thoughts regarding Michael Sam when a blog-follower sent me this video. I was touched by his eloquence and progressive understanding of humans (especially from a generation where gay discrimination was completely acceptable) that I decided posting it would fare far better. Enjoy and God bless.

Duck Dynasty

I fought fervently to stay out of this nonsensical debacle however after a whirlwind of input requests decided to oblige my devotees – half joke, of course.

All jokes aside; you cannot bash and trash a minority group and then hide behind the cover of religion (done so many times in the past) and expect to keep a public position. Have we learned nothing from Paula Deen!?!  Phil Robertson was rightfully fired from A&E. And last I knew Phil Robertson is still a free man so those throwing the first amendment phrase around like a volley-ball need to take pause.

Phil Robertson did not kindly state his personal biblical interpretation of gay people and opposition of gay marriage and simply get fired (as we often hear on Fox ruse). Like all extremists his vile attacks and lies were offensive and damaging “Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.” I would be deeply saddened to have my son read or hear these statements made about his dads.

I do believe in the first amendment and freedom of speech. I do not however believe freedom of speech equates to freedom from consequence. I am a public educator and can pretty much say anything I want to my students without getting arrested. That does not mean, however, that I will not get fired for doing so.

Just live

I have a degree in teaching and theater, and a few credits shy of another in psychology.  What does this mean?  Well, it means I take great pleasure in sharing information, and often while doing so, it is with deep conviction, passion, depth, intensity and always theatrical flair.  This is fine and dandy in the right setting(s) however, in others, it can very easily annoy, discourage and irritate those around me.

When I came out to my family, I gave them little time to process my news.  Any questions or concerns from anyone were met with Shakespearean scorn.   I also made it my mission to email, mail, and mention every blog, every book, every television show and every cd or internet link about being gay and Christian.   Not one phone conversation ended without being rerouted to talk about my being gay and saved.  The years went on and my determination and momentum never slowed.  My family (immediate and extended) was constantly inundated with gay-related conversations, gay-related links, gay-related literature, gay-related anything and everything and I was not satisfied unless all were in complete agreement with me.  In retrospect, I was nothing less than a bully.  I honestly do not think that much of anything I ever said or sent was even remotely listened to or read.  Moreover, I am rather confident I pushed people away and jeopardized both my respect, as well as, relationships with many near and dear.

One Sunday our preacher gave the most beautiful sermon about how God overwhelmingly loves all of His children (every race, every orientation, every gender etc.) and blessed their lives.  I could not fully enjoy the service because the entire time I was so excited and fixated on all the family members that were going to get a copy of this message and be completely transformed.  As soon as possible, I attained a copy of the message and for the next several weeks did nothing but burn cd after cd.  I purchased CD envelopes and gathered all my families’ addresses (I have well over one hundred first cousins so this was a very time-consuming and laborious process).  I was on a mission; this was going to be life-changing and how exciting when the veil of ignorance finally lifts from my family’s eyes and revelation saturates hearts and minds.

The day came when my huge box of copied and addressed CDs were ready to be delivered.  I prayed the usual prayer over them that I have the last decade or so.  This time, however, I felt something very different.  I had a profoundly unsettling feeling in my spirit.  I could not quite put my finger on the awkward sensation in my soul but it was then I heard and felt the Lords soft and gentle voice.  “You have done it your way for years; now I want you to do it mine!”  Don’t send the cd’s I thought/asked?!?  Certainly, this could not be God because this was the great information my family so desperately needed to hear and was going to be life-changing for them.  I immediately began rebuking Satan to stop taunting me.  God’s words, however, continued to play over and over in my mind and wrestle my will.  I eventually asked, “Well God, what is your way?”  As long as I shall live, I will never forget the two words that literally changed my life; “Just live!”  I sat motionless for a few moments staring at the wall dazed at the profound words that just repositioned my life.  I slowly slid the box of cd’s under my bed and silently wept. I cried thinking of all the time wasted and relationships damaged simply because I chose to do things my way and not seek Gods.

As I lay in bed I recalled something I heard in church as a little boy.  I heard, “you are often the only Bible people are reading.”  I remember thinking at the time that the statement was pretty reflective and weighty.  As professing Christians we are constantly watched, judged, and assessed in everything we do and say.  It is important to ask yourself periodically “when people watch me, what type of Christ are they seeing, and is it a reflection of the true Christ?”

To this day, I still have my box of cd’s, yet I do what I was advised.  I just live!  Not only is my life far more peaceful, but I know I have won many hearts to God and opened many an eye to the truth that He does, in fact, have and love His gay children.

Every person and life is unique, and each of us with an individual calling.  Some of us are singers, politicians, etc., who spread the equality message globally.  Some have other platforms that God uses to share his enduring love of inclusion including those like me who were chosen to “just live.” Pebbles make mountains and raindrops make seas.  All we may see at times is the small ripple we make in the water but we forget that Gods message is riding on those eventual immeasurable waves.  What Bible is being read when others watch you?  God bless you, today and always.

* For other gay Christian blogs click here http://gcnjustin.tumblr.com/sanity *

3 MUST SEE Videos

Out of the 16 Zillion videos out there, I narrowed them down to three that are very much worth your time.  If, after viewing, you do not feel as if you have been completely enlightened I will fully refund your money.  Just kidding.  In all seriousness, these videos are, at the very least, beyond thought-provoking.  God bless you

1) Mathew Vines is a young gay christian from middle america who God is using to shed light on this often dark and immoral world.  He brilliantly breaks down the 6 (often used) clobber passages in a very eloquent, detail-oriented, easy to understand and spiritually lead power-point conversation.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezQjNJUSraY  

2)   I could not recommend this next video more.  Dan Savage (syndicated columnist) and Brian Brown (president of National Organization for Marriage) very respectfully, intelligently and intellectually exchange their views regarding the freedom to marry.  This debate takes you on an eye-opening historical, spiritual, biblical and personal journey.   This is an absolute must watch for every American.  After watching, please share it with friends and family.  God bless you   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG804t0WG-c

3) Gay Christian Mathew Vines impeccably and concisely breaks down the 6/7 debatable clobber passages https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmp6lLct-fQ&feature=em-uploademail

How Dare the NAACP take a stand for equal rights!

Alveda King (niece to MLK) is enraged that the NAACP has broadened its mission statement to support the freedom to marry for all.  Alveda stated, “To equate homosexuality with race is to give a death sentence to civil rights, no one is making them sit in the back of the bus.” With all due respect, Ms. King, for the record, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) did not equate anything to “them!”  You are the one grabbing the race card, inserting that mistruth, and attempting to stir-up division!  Second Ms. King, please allow me a moment to school you a tad on our “bus.”

Hitler had special concentration camps and protocol for gays where he and his followers ordered and assigned them to the most difficult of all jobs. Twenty-four seven gays were taunted, tortured, prodded, poisoned, stripped, whipped, beaten, used as horrific disfiguring medical experiments, their fingernails pulled, they were starved, went days without water, and had thick splint-filled wooden sticks shoved into their anus and penis until the majority bled to death.

Unfortunately, not much has changed since.  All throughout history (including today) gays are taunted, teased, humiliated, tortured, mocked, ridiculed and murdered.  A recent article stated that in Iraq gay men’s anuses are super-glued while forced to drink diarrhea inducing liquid resulting in a very slow and painful death.  In Jamaica, there is government sanctioned brutal rape to “cure” lesbians.  In over 75 countries, gays are imprisoned should they simply live honestly.  Many that have (and continue to) assault and murder our gay brothers and sisters are repeatedly given an insignificant penalty or found “not guilty” and still today, we hear pastors, politicians, teachers and preachers condoning hatred and violence toward gays and lesbians with little to no concern, consideration or care.

Sadly, however, we do not need to look outside of our own back yard to see this type of repulsive abuse.  Every day across the U.S. gay couples and their houses are robbed, egged, vandalized, and burned by hate-motivated arsonists.  Every day gays are brutally beaten, sodomized, burned, mobbed, assaulted, bashed, intimidated and killed as acceptable “punishment” simply for the way they were born.  It was not that long ago here in the U.S. that gays were imprisoned, and while there, used as medical experiments.  Gays endured endless months of water torture and gruesome shock therapy to “cure” them.  Today every minute in our nation a crime is reported from a gay person being harassed, bashed, bullied, and often including death threats – and these are just the ones on record.  Incalculable acts of gay bashing are never reported due to shame, humiliation, and embarrassment, threats if they do, and the list goes on. Gay people cannot, to this day, peacefully walk in their (long awaited and much deserved) pride parades or get married without hearing insults, slander and verbal attacks from scores of deluded people with bullhorns. Trust me Ms. King, if we had a choice, we would happily sit in the back of the air-conditioned bus!

Lastly, Alveda, though your uncle may not have officially went on record supporting equal rights for his gay brothers and sisters, his wife (your aunt) Coretta has made it abundantly clear numerous times that they both believed in, and supported equal marriage for all!  Alveda I have a proposal.  How about instead of using your time, energy and money preventing loving, monogamous, faithful and devoted gay couples their civil right to legally marry, you put all of your time, money and energy into making your fourth one a success – deal?

Jesus Against Brownies – Mathew 19:4

As the marriage debate heats up we have been hearing many use Mathew 19:4 as a talking point to speak on Jesus’ behalf promoting discrimination and lies.  This verse is a perfect example of how we neither should cherry pick bible verses nor take them out of context.   “⁴ And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, ⁵ And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? ⁶ Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Mathew 19″

Finally, here is proof, Jesus stating that marriage is to be exclusively between a man and woman right?  Not at all.  You see to fully understand this verse in context we must read the one before it.   “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? Mathew 19:3.”  Jesus was simply responding to a specific question asked by the Pharisees.  The Pharisees asked a question that involves a marriage between a man and a woman and Jesus responded to the question at hand.

In no way shape or form was Jesus even remotely asked about His views on same-gender love/marriage (and while we are on the subject there were MANY examples of such couples around in His day and never once did He himself condemn them).  This would be like me calling my mother at work and asking if I can make brownies and she replying (and it were recorded) “Have I not told you that no brownies are to be made…..”  If this were the case, we would see many today holding signs, “Jesus Against Brownies” and others demanding “Brownie Equality!”

“Talking” Points

I just wanted to address some talking points I hear over, and over, and over, and over…..

      When people spout out ridiculous terms like Homosexual Behavior, Activists, Preference, Liberal, Extreme, Radical, Choice, Agenda, Morality, Destructive, Perversion, Lifestyle and all other ignorant and non-applicable talking points, they may as well hold a sign up that states in bold letters, “I have spent little time earnestly getting to know loving same gender people/couples.”  My initial thought is usually; there is no substitute for experience.  Until you walk a mile in a gay persons shoes, you have no substantial input to offer.  I really cannot engage in a decent debate on the Muslim culture because I’m not Muslim nor have I done the necessary time researching their culture.  Similarly I’m not black (and they have their culture).  Now I’m not saying that unless we “are” we need to be silent, however we need to be very careful with stereotypes and spewing things when we have not done our due diligence.

      I also have to roll my eyes when I hear some spout out, “talk about intolerance, gays are intolerant if you don’t agree with gay marriage etc.”  First off no one needs anyone to agree, believe in, or tolerate anything.  We should however, ALL be striving toward celebrating each individual culture/community.  That being said a hundred years ago there was “another side” to women’s rights, fifty years ago there was “another side” to black’s rights.  Today if anyone disputed their rights they would be viewed as strange (at the very least).  A few years from now there will not be “another side” to gay rights either.  Let’s all wake up, smell the inclusive coffee and celebrate one another.

Marriage = 1 woman + 1 man from the beginning of time/creation!

Well, yes and no and not necessarily so….“It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.”  Genesis 2:18  

Marriage, (the state of being united in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law) is just that, a law binding contractual state issued license.  I in no way want to minimize marriage (and as a huge believer in God and the Bible I say this with all due respect) but Adam and Eve were not “legally” married.  The very first civil marriage license ever granted was in the mid 1800’s http://www.lambdaarchives.us/timelines/marriage/index.htm   long after the Garden of Eden was home to Adam and Eve.  Of course, they were blessed, meant/created to be together and certainly spiritually united/married.  Nevertheless, the state did not grant Adam and Eve a license thus legal civil marriage was not born in the Garden of Eden. Furthermore, the fundamental basis for Adam and Eve’s relationship/marriage was that of companionship.  Therefore, (If you want to use God/the Bible in your anti-equality discussion), companionship (Gods original blueprint for nuptials) is the essence of marriage.  Adam and Eve enjoyed a spiritual marriage and one based on companionship (Malachi 2:14) – thus throwing away the argument that gays want to “redefine” traditional marriage because just as the very first “marriage”, we want and strive for companionship as well.

            Gays cannot procreate and marriage is about procreation!

    “And the two will become one flesh” Mathew 10:8 & Genesis 2:24 – Many scholars believe this verse is less about a similar mindset (joining emotionally, spiritually, mentally) and more so about bearing children.  There is no osmosis with flesh.  It is impossible for two fleshes to “become one” – when a male and female (both fertile) become one flesh the outcome is a new creation – (one child, same flesh).  That being said however, we have done that.  We went forth and multiplied (and now live in an overpopulated world in excess of seven billion people and growing) consequently resulting in our natural resources terrifyingly overextended.  This is not to say that the Word is not applicable anymore – absolutely not – but it does speak on the culture, needs and laws of the time.  Besides there are many that cannot/will not procreate, are all of these people out of Gods will? Some examples of such people include infertile heterosexual couples, gay couples, senior citizens, those choosing not to have children etc, are they all out of Gods will and condemned? 

    In my opinion, if there is any condemnation involved, it should apply to the moral high ground many disturbingly hold.  Opponents could care less if two drug dealers, two murderers, two child abusers, two con artists etc get married as long one has a penis and the other a vagina http://youtu.be/OFkeKKszXTw. That is their SOLE criteria for codifying and legally defining a relationship. It is not about morality so much as exclusivity and marginalization of gays and lesbians. Side note; Gay couples can and DO have biological children as well. Being gay does not automatically destroy sperm and eggs.  Moreover, studies show that the children of gay parents are healthy in every facet of life…not because the parents are gay, but because their parenthood is (virtually always) deliberate. http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/news/20051012/study-same-sex-parents-raise-well-adjusted-kids Lastly, one in every two thousand persons is born intersexed (biologically half male and half female), are all who are married half-condemned?  If the “go fourth and multiply/procreate” sword is used against marriage equality, it is not a sensible weapon.

    Speaking of God’s will, I often cringe when I hear people speak on his behalf regarding matrimony.  Let us take, for example, Johann Friedrich Blumenbach’s words used against Richard and Mildred Loving in the case of Loving vs. Virginia, “Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.”  Personally, I would not want to speak for Almighty God, especially when it comes to the intricate matter of love.  We had better be absolutely sure we know Gods will because we will unquestionably be accountable for speaking on His behalf.  Similarly, we are told that marriage equality is not Gods original plan and therefore unnatural and against His design. Well I have already touched on this but since we are still speculating, allow me a few speculations as well.    If we are to say that any deviation/variation of Gods original plan is unnatural, here is some food for thought; 

–          Adam was created from the dust of the earth – Genesis 2:7.  I cannot speculate as to what color dust was at the time (dust usually has a grayish tint) however, whatever color it was I imagine was the skin tone of Adam (having been created from it).  He also could have been a reddish-brown as “Adam” means “reddish brown.” Are we to assume any variation in people’s skin color today is “not Gods original plan/design” and therefore they are unnatural/ against God?

–           Adam and Eve were without a naval (as no umbilical cord was needed).  Are we to assume anyone currently having a naval is “not Gods original plan/design” and therefore unnatural/ against God?

–          Genesis 7 tells us that animals of the time were lead on the ark to procreate and populate the animal kingdom.  Are we to assume any hybrid or variation of animal from the ark is not Gods ultimate plan/design and therefore unnatural/against God?

–          God’s original design was foreskin.  We now know that (in today’s culture/understanding and some religions) there are certain reasons and benefits to circumcision.  Are we to assume all circumcised men are “not Gods original plan/design” and therefore unnatural/ against God?

    I will stop here with the hypotheticals, as I am sure you get the point by now.  Many things may have been originally created and/or for the purpose/reason/culture of the time.  God however, created us (whether Gay, Straight, Black, White, Left or Right Handed, Blonde/Brunette or otherwise – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you” Jeremiah 1:5), with a mind and intellect to act accordingly and with fairness. Such intellect and fairness is expected especially in regards to progressive institutes such as marriage (“Do unto Others as You Would Have Done unto You” Luke 6:31).  In addition, many cultures have blessed same gender unions/marriages throughout history (Fujian’s, Romans, Galicia Spain, and ancient Greece to name a few.)

Lastly, Gods will for love is marriage.  Thus, if we want to stay in His will then perhaps banning divorce should be the goal, not discriminating against who wants in.  Side note: Massachusetts became the first state to legalize marriage equality and is currently a state with one of the lowest (if not the lowest) divorce rates in the country, an eyebrow raiser with today’s fifty percent (and rising) divorce rate.

Show me a Gay marriage in the Bible

If the logic of some who condemn gay couples is legitimate, (that since God did not mention other marriage models in Genesis, God must be against gay couples/marriages), we can use the same logic to prove any number of things, which are not true. Here is where such illogic takes us.

1. The Genesis 2 marriage model says nothing about wedding gifts therefore God must be against wedding gifts.
2. The Genesis 2 marriage model says nothing about wedding rings therefore God must be against wedding rings.
3. The Genesis 2 marriage model says nothing about getting married in church therefore, God must be against getting married in church.
4. The Genesis 2 marriage model says nothing about adopting children; therefore, God must be against adopting children.
5. The Genesis 2 marriage model says nothing about gay couples therefore God must be against gay couples.

    Such “analysis” does not make sense. It goes against the inborn common sense we have as human beings. Reading into scripture, something scripture does not say and then teaching as doctrine, is false interpretation. It leads to wrong conclusions http://www.gaychristian101.com/adam-and-eve.html  If you are thinking the “Bible doesn’t mention Heroin either but we know it’s not good for us” than please feel free to click delete and move on.  Because red herrings like such are purely nonsensical distractions, I personally do not feel anyone should waste time trying to make sense out of nonsense and so I will not. 

Marriage is a religious issue and this is an infringement. 

    Civil marriage is not a religious institution but a legal one.  Religions are free to teach and do what they choose.  For example, a Jewish couple cannot stride into a church and expect to get married, but they can obtain a state issued marriage license. Divorced Catholics, although ineligible to be married again in the church, can still get a civil marriage license (fifty times over if they choose). The government does not issue bat mitzvah licenses, nor does it issue communion licenses. Those are matters of individual religious beliefs/choice. The state however, does issue civil marriage licenses.  Civil marriage has always been a legal or “law of the land” matter, since we let the non-religious marry, and always have. 

    I do however believe in religious exemptions.  I fully support the right of non-government funded religious leaders refusing to marry anyone he or she chooses for any reason.  Lastly, we must also consider the many faiths that read the Word and hear the voice of a more inclusive God and joyfully perform same-gender marriages. Are we not infringing on their religious freedoms by denying them the right to marry loving and committed gay and lesbian couples?

    In conclusion, once again, I must stress that I am first and foremost a born-again Christian (radical Jesus loving follower) and firm believer in the Word.  I live, eat and breathe biblical principles and try my best to follow its teachings and examples. Having said that, at the end of the day, we do not place our hand on the constitution to defend the Bible, we place our hand on the Bible to defend our constitution.  This is basis of our marriage fight; equal rights and protections as declared in the 14^th amendment. 

    If I have not made my point ever so clear – one last time – there is a world of difference between a religious ceremony and a state-granted civil marriage license.  It is a matter of separation of church and state.  One is a legal document issued by the government, the other a personal choice of one’s belief(s).  Although politically I support separation of church and state, personally I pray fervently that all have a close relationship with their creator.  As for me, when I got married, a church service was essential.  Both my spouse and I are Christians brought up in the church.  After receiving our legal marriage license from the court house, our pastor was just as thrilled marrying my spouse and I (of ten wonderful years), in a beautiful church (including an incredible religious service and ceremony), as he was the heterosexual couples before and after us http://www.mywedding.com/ericjason/

Some of My favorite Sayings/Arguments

Gays Want Special Rights

“Gays have all the rights straights do; they just have to play by the rules.” They want special rights to marry someone of the same sex.”  I really love this argument/logic that is thrown around in debates nowadays.   First and foremost all gay and lesbians want is the very thing all humans want; to fall in love and have their marriage protected by the law and share in the very benefits the neighbors to their left and right do, nothing more nothing less.  Cynthia Nixon put it best when she said, “”When women got the vote, they did not redefine voting, when African-Americans got the right to sit at a lunch counter alongside white people, they did not redefine eating out. They were simply invited to the table. That is all we want to do; we have no desire to change marriage. We want to be entitled to not only the same privileges but the same responsibilities as straight people.” It would be utterly ludicrous to expect a gay person to fall in love with a member of the opposite sex just as you would not expect a straight person to fall in love with a member of the same (however if they did, I wouldn’t judge).  No, I apologize; I am not a big believer in the ex-gay theory.  There is a huge difference between behavior and orientation.  One can authentically be changed/modified, the other cannot. Ones orientation is simply who they are attracted to, not who they are intimate with. I myself was born left-handed (and side note just like my orientation, we are still unclear on the biological/genetic contributions to handedness.)  With proper time, practice and energy I can change my behavior and learn to write with my right hand.  Does this mean I am now fundamentally “right-handed?” No, it just means I changed my behavior, I am still (and was born) left-handed.  That being said, have there been people that have “changed?” Possibly but sexuality is quite multi-layered and complex.  The first question I would ask is; “where they in fact innately/inborn, genetically predispositioned to the homosexual orientation” to begin with? (keeping in mind if you do subscribe to this theory, there are far more ex-straights than ex-gays!) Other than that, I cannot for the life of me see where it is a choice.  (Side note; if someone is bisexual, they can choose to be in a same or opposite gender relationship but the relationship is the choice, not the orientation).  My brother is straight and under no circumstances can I see him flipping a coin one day and saying, “hmm, I think I’ll choose a rugged, masculine, chiseled and hairy dude today!”

Black is not the new Gay

“Stop comparing black rights to gay rights.  You cannot change your color but you can change your behavior.”  Well as I have already stated being gay is not a behavior, it is an innate orientation and in simple terms means who one is attracted to.  A straight person is not a behavior, being straight just means the attraction is geared toward members of the opposite sex.  When it comes to race and orientation there are differences of course, and I do not think any cultures fight for civil equality should be completely blended.  However, when it comes down to it, aren’t we fighting a similar battle https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-u4Z3n2Fnyc ?  When we bottom-line the murder of Emmett Till and Matthew Shepard (young men brutally and maliciously beaten, mocked, tortured and killed), the common denominator was that of ignorance, fear and discrimination.  Although I do not necessarily believe that black is the new gay, they indeed have interwoven infrastructure and therefore the “fighting” terms may at times overlap. I also cringe while hearing this statement as it is often followed by, “I have heard of ex-gays but never ex-blacks.”  Well, are you positive?  I am sure many would argue Sammy Sosa and Michael Jackson were ex-black (and unlike orientation, those were choices).  Throughout history gay and lesbians were threatened with eternal damnation, societal ostracism and countless other fear tactics to “change” and the result was an increase in anti-depressants, an increase in suicides, an increase in divorces from those thinking marrying the opposite gender would “cure” them and a whole slew of damage to self and others.   Regardless, I think the “change is possible” argument is a moot point. Far too many “ex-gays” have recanted their stories of change after electro shock therapy and other horror stories http://www.truthwinsout.org/category/videos/survivors/ <—  One of many resources dealing with the ex-gay myth.

Why do gays have to flaunt their lifestyle? 

The term “lifestyle” is like nails on a chalkboard to me.  However, forget me; let us (once again) go to the dictionary.  Lifestyle, (noun) the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitutes the mode of living of an individual or group.”  When people (gay and straight) wake up in the morning, take a shower, grab a cup of coffee, drop their children off at school, volunteer in their community and attend church on Sundays, that is their lifestyle.   Whom one is attracted to is NOT a lifestyle.  “Life” is the optimal word we are going for here!  Okay, moving on.  Why is it that when we see a straight couple eating one another’s face on public transportation or virtually conceiving in corners of our shopping malls, we walk by thinking little?  However, when we see gay couples hold hands, hug or kiss they are, “flaunting their lifestyle?”  Can we all together say Double Standard? Come on, I know you can do it. Usually this statement accompanies, “Why do gays have to flaunt their behavior during pride parade, we don’t have a straight parade” Well I’ll make a deal with you, I will overlook the obscene behavior that straights display during their annual Mardi Gras if you will overlook the obscene behavior that gays display during our annual pride parade.  We also have to understand (on both/all sides) that there are extremists in every culture/group.  We cannot (or at least should not) judge an entire culture/group on the behavior of an excited (and eccentric) few.