So Lori Loughlin, and a few others, are currently making headlines for trying to work around that which should be earned. We all know that there are countless injustices when jumping lines (such as potentially robbing a student who earnestly studied hard and deserves a place in that university) but I’d like to focus on just a couple. Certainly there are exceptions to the rule but one of the many sad tragedies of “helping” the college journey – or in my opinion disrespecting a crucial young adult experience – whether governmental (affirmative action) or parental, is that when students do not get into higher education institutions based on their own individual merits they are simply set up for future failure.
When an employer seeks a new hire they often look at one’s grades earned while in college. If the grades of the graduate, because the university’s standards are above the student’s ability level, are lower than their classmates (who got in on their own merits) they most certainly will not get that job and that job would go to their classmates. And, if by chance, grades are not looked at and one is hired from their degree the graduates sub-par productivity will eventually show ultimately leading to their dismissal (unless they are kept in that position to fill another governmental quota but that’s another topic for another discussion).
Not to mention when you allow people to skip ahead of the line.you are robbing these individuals of so much including their self-pride. Allow me to share a favorite story of mine;
There was a little boy who loved caterpillars. One day he found one, took him home and made a home for him. He watched this caterpillar every day making sure he had plenty of food & water.
One day the caterpillar started creating a cocoon…here he would go through a metamorphosis and become a butterfly. This was so exciting, the little boy couldn’t wait to see the butterfly!
One day it happened, a small hole appeared in the cocoon and the butterfly started to struggle to come out. The little boy was so excited! But then he noticed the butterfly was struggling so hard to get out and it looked like the butterfly wasn’t going to be able to break free! The little boy was so worried for the butterfly that he decided he had to help. He quickly got a pair of scissors and snipped the cocoon to make the hole bigger and the butterfly quickly emerged!
But the butterfly had a swollen body and small shriveled wings. The little boy sat and watched the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would dry out, get bigger and expand to support the swollen body.
But it never happened!
The butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.
It never was able to fly…
He then learned that the butterfly was supposed to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly. The boy’s good intentions actually hurt the butterfly.
I was born and raised in a family far below poverty guidelines. I grew up on some sketchy and scary parts of town. When I eventually made the decision to attend college there were no parents or government programs that mowed the grass before me. I had to mow the grass myself. Through my growing pains, I had to navigate everything from entrance exams to paying for my education. I worked two and three jobs while in school to pay for my associate’s degree. Those same jobs eventually paid for my bachelor’s degree and then my master’s degree.
There is no authentic achievement without self-discipline. I am proud of my self-discipline. I am proud of my hard work, my diligence, my persistence and perseverance, my dedication, my creativity, my knowledge gained from formal education and now my work ethic as I have experienced first-hand that nothing is free and anything handed to me comes with all lessons and esteem lost. So most importantly, I am profoundly proud of myself for doing it completely on my own.