Invisible Minority

“First California, and now Jersey?  I don’t send my kids to school to watch porn.”  This was a response from a parent after hearing that Gay History would be implemented in the middle school curriculum.  My response to this parent was, “The fact that when you think of the gay community your mental default is porn is the very reason Gay History needs to be taught in our schools.

I often wondered why Gay History is not taught in our public schools.  After all, aren’t we supposed to give our minority students examples of those whom they can relate to or identify with?  When our innovations, inventions, contributions are unknown, we are not known.  When our history, sacrifices, suffering and continuous unfair treatment is not known, we are simply not thought of, considered, and unknown.

The Pride celebrations of today were born from the pain of not being able to go out for a beer after a hard day’s work without getting harassed, blackmailed, arrested, thrown in jail and when “discovered” fired, or beaten over the head with billy-clubs.  Gay Pride was not born from a need to celebrate being gay, rather our right to exist without persecution. And please, don’t just take my word for it.  The documentary “Paragraph 175” does an amazing job of (literally) showing our extreme persecution  – if you can stomach the cruelty our community has endured.

Very few know of our talent, contributions, inventions or the barbaric mistreatment that sadly still runs rampant today.  When no one knows or learns about the invisible minority we are simply, well…. invisible. It is easy to dismiss a community you know nothing of.  It is not that easy to dismiss a human being.  Education and history classes bring us from the metaphoric closet to the classroom where we can be seen as human.

Unfortunately, many have no idea who Barbara Gittings, Sally Ride, Harvey Milk, Troy Perry, Frank Kameny, Leonard Matlovich, Marsha P. Johnson (and countless others) are or what great contributions they made to our nation.  From Bayard Rustin devising the March on Washington to Billy Strayhorn writing almost all of Duke Ellington’s greatest hits, our history has been stripped away, our contributions erased.   The mere fact that you are reading this on some type of tech device is thanx to a professor in the 1930’s.  Alan Turing, a genius who was governmentally castrated (ultimately dying) simply because of the way he was born.

Speaking of our innovations being erased and our contributions stripped from public knowledge (from Bayard Rustin, devising the March on Washington, to Billy Strayhorn, writing almost all of Duke Ellington’s greatest hits) the sad truth is that King and  Ellington didn’t mind the fanfare these brilliant gay men brought them but had little interest in crediting or publicly associating with them simply because their personal picture of love was not their ideal.

Travesties like this happened in every area (politics, entertainment, scientific discoveries, etc) all too often in our countries history to the point that so much of our history is, unfortunately, lost forever never to have the opportunity to make a history book or the classroom.  While I cannot place complete blame on King or Ellington – they were a product of the culture of their time – we can now fix this moving forward and with Gay History finally being taught, it sounds as if we are.

We NEED our beautiful/colorful history taught in schools because the masses need, and deserve to be, educated on our wonderful community that generously contributed, and still contributes, to our great nation. And yes, just like black history, woman’s history, etc. there will be some initial backlash but those with the loudest voices against our history being taught are the very ones most in need of it.

Here we are in almost 2020 and our community is still being overlooked, forgotten, erased.  June has been National Pride month for decades yet absolutely no mention of it from the highest office.  Do you know in over half the states we can still be fired simply for being gay?  This is a direct result of not being mentioned, acknowledged or taught about.  No wonder gaycist attacks are on the rise.

So, I leave you with this question; which voice are you?  Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?

 

 

Pledge of Allegiance

Of all the schools where I taught (and I taught in many) the Pledge was – at best – optional. When our son came home yesterday and recited the pledge (that his class/school recites every morning) I felt hope, happiness and pride!

Click here –> Pledge    🙂

Beauty And Deceit

So the Alabama-based Henagar Drive-in publicly stated they were not going to show “Beauty and the Beast” because, and I quote, “LeFou is sexually confused.”  Further they went on to say “If I can’t sit through a movie with God or Jesus sitting by me then I have no business showing it.”

Let me be the first to say congratulations, truly.  As a believer, I fully support following one’s faith, convictions and personal interpretations of the Bible without reservation. It is their theater and they are certainly entitled to play, or not play, what they choose end of story.

For me though, it’s not end of story when the message they’re attempting to send is harming and hurting an already targeted community.  Gay people are in no way confused.  What is confusing rather is this theater owner’s reasoning to “take a stand” against a film where one character (of hundreds) is simply living (as he was born no less).  First let me start by saying gay people are innately wired to be attracted to those of the same gender just as naturally as honey bees are biologically wired to make honey.  To call a gay person “confused” is not only completely untrue but also misleading to those that don’t understand (or do not care to understand) the spectrum of human sexuality and development.

Second I always find it sad – and a little hypocritical – when some members of the faith community “take a stand” regarding two loving/consenting adults who happen to have the same chromosomes yet choose to wear blinders in all other areas where the Bible is far more clear.  While I do not know what past movies the Henagar Drive-in played (as they have recently removed their Facebook page that would have their previous line-up on record) I know of several other theaters that have no problem showing violent, sexually provocative movies, and movies where content is explicitly against biblical standards but “take a stand” – and a very vocal one I may add – when it comes to same gender love.

There are many non-believers in the world and as Christians we are to share the gospel of Jesus Christ and how ALL are welcome to the banquet table. Christ Himself never spoke a word against the gay community and there were plenty of gay people around in His day.   Further, He stood up for the marginalized and devoted His life to challenging His followers to see and search deeper in that which we may not understand.  And most important of all Jesus walked, talked, breathed and lived love.  I find it disheartening that some choose to fight the very thing Jesus emphasized and ultimately was crucified for; love – even if that picture of love is not our personal ideal.

The operators of this drive-in stated they are “first and foremost Christians and will not compromise on what the Bible teaches.” I guess my question to them would be; what lessons of Christ and the Bible are most important to you?

Will Empathy Trump Trump

As a rule of thumb, I believe topics such as religion, politics, relationships and money should stay far away from social media. After all, very few are interested in others personal opinions on such private and intimate subjects. However, I see nothing wrong with respectful viewpoints so on behalf of the countless voiceless youth across the nation and globe here are my thoughts on this emotionally charged day – for all sides.

I will not mock, disrespect or talk bad about our new President. As a matter of fact, I will do my best to support and help him succeed as I have all of our elected leaders in the past. I do not have to like, love or emulate him but I do feel as if it’s my Christian duty to pray for, and stand by him. After all he is now our President and if he fails we all fail.

Having said that I am deeply concerned for my gay brothers and sisters. Unlike other marginalized communities we do not have state and federal laws in place to protect us. We do not have gay history taught in our schools to let the masses know what we have suffered, or the tremendous and brilliant contributions our community has made (speaking of which the mere fact you are reading this on some type of computer is because of a gay person, Mr. Alan Turing).

We can still be fired in numerous states merely for talking about our families to our co-workers. From housing to education (the list is endless) our community, and families, are sitting ducks.

What bright and promising future lies ahead for our young children who happen to be gay and live in a world where their equal rights and treatment are sub-par? What message of unity and celebration does this current cabinet send to other countries who treat their gay citizens so horribly that many would de-friend me if I went into detail on what they do to them?!?

So again, I will pray for our President (and most certainly his cabinet) that, among other things, will serve and protect ALL American families and strive to fight for unity, fairness and equality. I urge all that are reading this to do the same.

I know I may have offended some of you (on both sides). I ask that you tolerate this one and only political (social) post just as I have tolerated many of yours for months now. And lastly please know regardless of who you voted for I still love, respect and want to stay connected with you   🙂  

This Christmas….

Christmas, for many of us, is the season of celebrating the joyous miracle of Jesus’ birth.  He is a gift to believers and the ultimate Father.   So I thought it was appropriate to post a poem given to us by a lady at church following the birth of our recent gift, our daughter. She handed me the poem saying, “God put it on my heart to give this to you.”

To Be A Daddy

To be a Daddy is to know

how tiny baby kittens grow,

how cherries change to cherry pie,

how snowflakes get into the sky.

To be a daddy is to show

how shoestrings can become a bow,

how pencil lines become a letter,

how kisses make a bee sting better.

To be a daddy is to grow

a little like a child… and so –

to be a daddy is to share,

to think that fishing might be fun,

to let the window flow through his/her hair,

to guess at riddles, giggle, run,

to make a snowman, wade through mud,

and gently hold an opening bud.

To be a daddy is to sow

a seed of love then watch it grow.

To be a daddy is to live

the sweetest dream that God can give.

May you have a very Merry Christmas and wonderful New Year!

Our family is complete

Ever since I was a little boy I wanted a son and daughter.  My wish and prayer was to have a son and name him Luke, and a daughter and name her Sylvia.  It’s absolutely remarkable, and truly amazing, to sit back and see years of your prayers answered.

When our son turned three we thought it was time to expand our family and give him a sibling.  We signed on with an adoption agency and waited with anticipation.  After a year went by we re-assessed and ultimately decided to stay with our agency but also take foster-to-adopt classes through our county simply to give us more options.

Foster-to-adopt classes were intense at times – especially having to find a sitter for our son and navigate the mountain of paperwork all while juggling our home, busy schedule, career etc., Ultimately, however, we were certified and ready to roll within a few months.  Within a few weeks we received a call for a baby girl.  Without hesitation we rushed to the hospital to see our little blessing.  She was born September 3^rd and weighed all of five pounds. With pure delight we held, fed and changed this precious blessing. Shortly after, we took her home (and went crazy shopping but that’s another post).

We were informed that bio mom stated she was willing to sign a surrender and court was in a week and a half.  After a surrender was signed we could then start the adoption process. Our court date was held the following Friday at 10am. We arrived at court around 9:15 and began combing through our paperwork. Around 9:45 all attorneys, guardians, social workers, etc., started filing-in. Ten o’clock came and went, ten fifteen, ten thirty and finally around 10:45 the court secretary called bio mom to see if she intended on coming. By this time our heart beats were speeding with anticipation.

The courtroom phone was on speaker and the woman who answered was not the voice we expected. It was a very sweet, loving, intelligent and apologetic young lady. She explained the mix up and then shared that she in fact would be happy to come but didn’t have a ride. We all offered to pick her up, give her cab money etc., but ultimately a social worker went and brought her to the courthouse – and she was tremendously appreciative.

I was overwhelmed with excitement to see such a beautiful, vivacious, intelligent, loving, compassionate, and well-spoken young lady walk into the courtroom. She first briefly spoke with her attorney and then asked if she could have a word with the foster parents before signing any court documents. Eric and I agreed and all three of us walked into an adjoining room to talk.

In a loving and polite tone, she went on and on about how much she appreciated our stepping up and how thrilled she was to hear Sylvia Evette was in our care. We had many questions for her from her own background to the bio dad.  She even shared she was Filipino and Irish which was a pleasant surprise given our own backgrounds. We asked her if she had any questions for us and the only question she asked is “what did you name the baby?” When we ended our talk she affectionately informed us that after court she would not contact or bother our family in any way, but that she would always be available to us if we, or Sylvia, had any questions at any time or for any reason.

We went into court where we all happily signed all necessary documents. As life would have it she needed a ride home so we asked the judge if it would be a conflict of interest if we took her. The ride was wonderful as we were able to have a more in-depth heart-to-heart and get to know this wonderful woman who blessed us with a daughter and Luke with a sister. We arrived at her door-step and with one last hug, exchange of thank you’s and tears, she exited our car.

And then there was four

My spouse and I spent a majority of the first half of this year working on getting certified as foster parents. There were back-to-back long classes, mountains of tedious paperwork, home-visits/studies etc., but in the end we were approved with flying colors.

The phone calls for placements started rolling-in and we carefully considered each opportunity. The first few calls we received unfortunately were not a perfect fit for our family but eventually decided to say yes to the last one – and in doing so – took in three siblings; two girls and a boy. While this particular placement is not permanent we hope a permanent opportunity comes our way very soon. For now we now have children in our home ages 3, 4, 5 and 6 (our son, Luke being the five year old).

The first week or so was quite chaotic as everything was new and different. These children had to adjust to completely new surroundings, expectations and freedoms, and at the same token, our family had considerable and ongoing adjustments.

I am thrilled to say the dust is settling nicely and our days are quite smooth. Here is Luke, and the middle sibling, preparing for bed  🙂

Send In The Clowns

I’ve always loved Broadway tunes because each song takes both performer and audience member on an emotional journey filled with an assortment of sensations. I have experienced musicals that have left me elated for hours.  I have also wandered out of musical theaters overcome with emotions, completely moved, and virtually speechless for days.

Send In The Clowns from “A Little Night Music” is one of those show-tunes that takes both performer and listener on an intensely passionate roller-coaster of reactions.  It is a brilliantly written piece incorporating both satire and despair.  Throw in a little humor, add some regret and end with a little hope, and there you have Send In The Clowns.

Unless performed by broadways elitist one can never do this song justice.  However, here is my attempt at this masterfully written piece.

 

Happy 5th to our son

Happy Happy 5th Birthday to our gift in life.  Well technically not until 9:05pm tonight  🙂

It was early May of 2011 we were chosen to adopt this beautiful boy.  A few weeks after that life-changing news I obtained my graduate degree.  A few weeks after receiving my diploma we went on a cruise to Mexico.  A few weeks after Mexico I halted my teaching career after teaching one last summer school.  A few weeks after summer school ended we were cutting Luke’s cord and holding our first-born in the hospital.

Luke you were a whirlwind then, and five years later, you are still a whirlwind lol.  Happy Happy Birthday our son who makes everything in life bigger, better and brighter!

America Is Humiliated

I have never felt ashamed to be an American but I have to say I am currently humiliated by the behavior in our country.

America we can and must do better!